Cultures can be categorized across many axes, and one of them is whether you can call an older male stranger uncle or female stranger auntie. For example, calling a shopkeeper uncle might be sympathetic in Singapore, whereas doing the same in Germany (Onkel) might get a negative reaction: “I’m not your uncle”.

This is similar to calling a stranger bro. In social science, this is called fictive kinship, social ties that are not based on blood relations. For readers which come from such cultures, this does not need an explanation. But for other readers, this might be a weird concept. Why would you call a stranger uncle or auntie?

Hover over the countries below to see which ones use uncle/auntie terms:

Countries that use uncle/auntie terms as fictive kinship.
If you notice any errors, you can submit a pull request on the repo osolmaz/crowdsource.

Note that fictive kinship can also have different levels:

  1. Level 0: Blood relatives only. “Uncle”/”Auntie” is strictly for real uncles/aunts (by blood or marriage). No fictive use.

  2. Level 1: Close non-relatives. Used for family friends, “uncle” or “auntie” is an honorary title but not for random people.

  3. Level 2: Casual acquaintances. Used more widely for neighbors, family friends, or community members you vaguely know, but typically not for an absolute stranger.

  4. Level 3: Total strangers. Used even for someone you’ve just met: a shopkeeper, taxi driver, or older passerby.

Many cultures fall somewhere between these levels and it’s not always black and white. Where possible, I’ve simplified it to the most typical usage.

Ommerism and social cohesion

The thought first occurred to me when I visited Singapore and heard people use uncle and auntie. Here were people speaking English, but it felt like they were speaking Turkish (my mother tongue).

The cultural difference is apparent to me as well since I started living in Germany. People here are more lonely, strangers distrust each other more, and there are no implicit social ties. I guess this holds for the entire Anglo/Germanic culture, including the US and the commonwealth.

Don’t get me wrong, people in Turkey distrust each other as well, probably even more. It is a more dangerous country than Germany. But those dangerous strangers are still uncles. It’s weird, I know.

As far as I could tell, the phenomenon is not even sociologically that much recognized or studied. There is no specific name for it, other than being a specific form of fictive kinship. Therefore, I will name it myself: ommerism. It derives from a recently popularized gender-neutral term for an uncle or auntie, ommer.

Lack of ommerism is an indicator for a weak collective culture. Such cultures are more individualistic, familial ties are weaker and people are overall more lonely. People from such cultures could for example tweet:

Tweet

It is extra ironic that ex-colonies like Singapore (ex-British), Indonesia (ex-Dutch), Philippines (ex-Spanish) etc. took their colonizers’ words for uncle/auntie and started using it this way, whereas the original cultures still do not.

Click to expand more detailed notes on ommerism in different cultures, generated by o1:

East Asia

China (Mainland China, Hong Kong, Taiwan)

  • Mandarin Chinese: Older men can be called 叔叔 (shūshu) or 大叔 (dàshū), and older women 阿姨 (āyí)—literally “uncle” and “aunt.”
  • Cantonese: Common terms include 叔叔 (suk1 suk1) and 阿姨 (aa4 yi4).
  • These terms are used with neighbors, parents’ friends, or sometimes older strangers as a sign of respect.

South Korea

  • While there is no exact one-word translation for “uncle” or “aunt” used for strangers, 아저씨 (ajeossi) for an older male and 아줌마 (ajumma) for an older female are frequently used.
  • In more affectionate or polite contexts (like someone only slightly older, perhaps a friend’s older sibling), you might hear 삼촌 (samchon, literally “uncle”) or 이모 (imo, literally “maternal aunt”) in certain familial or friendly settings. However, ajeossi and ajumma are the most common for strangers.

Japan

  • おじさん (ojisan) means “uncle” (or older man), and おばさん (obasan) means “aunt” (or older woman).
  • These words are often used for middle-aged adults who aren’t close relatives. However, obasan and ojisan can sometimes sound a bit casual or even rude if the person thinks they’re not that old—so usage requires some caution.

Mongolia

  • Familial terms for older people exist (e.g., avga for “aunt,” avga ah for “uncle”), though usage for complete strangers varies by region or family practice. The practice is somewhat less formalized than in, say, Chinese or Korean, but it does occur in more traditional or rural settings.

Southeast Asia

Vietnam

  • Common terms include chú for a slightly older man (literally “uncle”), bác for an older man or woman (technically also “uncle/aunt” but older than one’s parents), and cô or dì for an older woman (“aunt”).
  • These terms are commonly used even for unrelated people in the neighborhood or community.

Thailand

  • Thais typically use kinship or age-related pronouns. ป้า (pâa) means “aunt” and is used for women noticeably older than the speaker; ลุง (lung) means “uncle” for older men.
  • พี่ (phîi) (“older sibling”) is also used for someone slightly older, but not as old as a parental figure.

Cambodia (Khmer)

  • Kinship terms like បង (bong) (“older brother/sister”) are used for somewhat older people, but for someone older than one’s parents, ពូ (pu) (“uncle”) or មីង (ming) (“aunt”) are common.

Laos

  • Similar to Thai and Khmer, Laotians use ai (“uncle”) and na (“aunt” in some contexts), though often you’ll see sibling terms like ai noy as well.

Myanmar (Burma)

  • Burmese uses kinship terms such as ဦး (u) for older men (sometimes “uncle”) and ဒေါ် (daw) for older women (sometimes “aunt”). Strictly, u and daw are more like “Mr.” / “Ms.” honorifics, but in colloquial usage, people also say ဘူ (bu) or နာ် (nà) for “uncle”/”aunt” in local dialects.

Malaysia & Brunei

  • In Malay, pakcik (“uncle”) and makcik (“auntie”) are used for older men and women, especially in a neighborly or informal community context.
  • Ethnic Chinese or Indian communities in Malaysia may use their own respective terms (Chinese “叔叔/阿姨,” Tamil “maama/maami,” etc.).

Indonesia

  • Om (from Dutch/English “oom,” meaning “uncle”) and Tante (from Dutch “tante,” meaning “aunt”) are widely used for older strangers—especially in urban areas.
  • In Javanese or other local languages, there are also variations for older siblings or parent-like figures.

The Philippines

  • Using Tito (uncle) and Tita (aunt) for older strangers is very common, especially if they are friends of the family or neighbors.
  • Filipinos also commonly address older peers as Kuya (“older brother”) or Ate (“older sister”) when the age gap is less.

Singapore

  • Given Singapore’s multicultural society, people might say “Uncle”/”Aunty” in English, or the Chinese/Malay/Tamil equivalents. It is extremely common to address older taxi drivers, shopkeepers, or neighbors as “Uncle” or “Auntie” in everyday conversation.

Timor-Leste (East Timor)

  • Influenced by Indonesian and local Austronesian customs, you’ll find use of Portuguese tio/tia (“uncle/aunt”) in some contexts, or local language equivalents for older strangers.

South Asia

India

  • Uncle and Aunty (often spelled “Auntie”) are widely used in Indian English for neighbors, parents’ friends, or older people in the community.
  • Regional languages have their own words: e.g., in Hindi, “चाचा (chacha)” / “चाची (chachi)” or “मामा (mama)” / “मामी (mami)”; in Tamil, “மாமா (maama)” / “மாமி (maami)”; etc. Usage varies by region.

Pakistan

  • Similarly, “Uncle” and “Aunty” are used in Pakistani English. In Urdu or other local languages, you might hear “चाचा (chacha)” / “چچی (chachi)” or “ماما (mama)” / “مامی (mami)” depending on whether it’s paternal or maternal in origin—often extended to unrelated elders as a sign of respect.

Bangladesh

  • In Bengali, “কাকা (kaka)” / “কাকি (kaki)” or “মামা (mama)” / “মামি (mami)” might be used similarly. Among English speakers, “Uncle/Aunty” is also common.

Sri Lanka

  • Both the Sinhalese and Tamil-speaking communities (as well as English speakers) use “Uncle” and “Aunty.” Local terms exist as well, like “මාමා (mama)” in Sinhalese for a maternal uncle.

Nepal & Bhutan

  • In Nepal, Hindi- or Nepali-influenced usage might include “Uncle/Aunty” in English or “kaka,” “fupu,” etc. in Nepali.
  • In Bhutan, kinship terms in Dzongkha may be extended politely, and English “Uncle”/”Aunty” is sometimes heard too.

The Middle East

Arabic-Speaking Countries

(Countries such as Saudi Arabia, UAE, Oman, Yemen, Kuwait, Qatar, Bahrain, Jordan, Lebanon, Syria, Palestine, Iraq, Egypt, Morocco, Tunisia, Algeria, etc.)

  • Common practice is to call an older male عمّو (ʿammo) (“uncle”) or خال (khāl, “maternal uncle”), and an older female عمّة (ʿamma) or خالة (khāla, “maternal aunt”). In more casual conversation, people might just say “ʿammo” or “khalto” (aunt) for a kindly older stranger.

Turkey

  • Turks often use amca (“uncle”) for older men and teyze (“aunt”) for older women, even if unrelated. You might also hear hala (paternal aunt) or dayı (maternal uncle) in certain contexts, though amca and teyze are the most common “stranger but older” usage.

Iran (Persia)

  • Persian speakers sometimes use عمو (amú) (“uncle”) for an older male and خاله (khâleh) or عمه (ammeh) for an older female, though it can be more common within a neighborhood or for family friends rather than complete strangers.

Israel

  • Among Arabic-speaking Israelis, the same Arabic norms apply. In Hebrew, there is less of a tradition of calling older strangers “uncle/aunt,” though familial terms may sometimes be used in casual or affectionate contexts.

Africa

In many African countries, the concept of extended family and communal child-rearing leads to frequent use of “auntie” and “uncle” (in local languages or in English/French/Portuguese). A few notable examples:

Nigeria

  • It’s extremely common, in both English usage and local languages (Yoruba, Igbo, Hausa, etc.), to call older strangers or family friends Uncle or Aunty as a sign of respect.

Ghana

  • In Ghanaian English and local languages (Twi, Ga, Ewe, etc.), older neighbors or close friends of parents are called “Uncle” or “Auntie.”

Kenya, Uganda, Tanzania (Swahili-speaking regions)

  • “Mjomba” (uncle) or “Shangazi” (aunt) might be heard, but more often you’ll hear people simply use English “Uncle/Auntie” in urban areas. Variations exist in tribal languages.

South Africa

  • Among many ethnic groups (Zulu, Xhosa, etc.), as well as in colloquial South African English, calling an unrelated elder “Uncle/Auntie” is quite normal.

Other African Nations

  • From Ethiopia and Eritrea (where you might hear “Aboye” or “Emaye,” though these are more parental) to francophone Africa (where “tonton” / “tata” in French can be used for older people), the practice is widespread.

The Caribbean

Many Caribbean cultures (influenced by African, Indian, and European heritage) commonly call elders “Auntie” and “Uncle”:

  • Jamaica, Trinidad & Tobago, Barbados, Grenada, etc.: It’s very common in English Creole or local usage to refer to an older neighbor or friend as “Auntie” / “Uncle.”
  • In places with large Indian diaspora (e.g., Trinidad, Guyana), you’ll see Indian-style “Aunty/Uncle” usage as well, plus local creole terms.

Other Notable Mentions

  • Philippine & Indian Diasporas (e.g., in the USA, Canada, UK, Middle East) continue the tradition of calling elders “Uncle/Aunty,” “Tito/Tita,” etc.
  • In some communities in the Caribbean diaspora (e.g., in the UK), you’ll also hear “Uncle” or “Auntie” for older neighbors, family friends, or even community leaders.
  • In parts of the Southern United States (particularly historically among African American communities), children would sometimes call an older neighbor “Aunt” or “Uncle” plus their first name—though this usage can also have historical or regional nuances.